


Of Tea and Tears

by theIronStark3000



Series: Obi-Wan Kenobi Has Cancer [3]
Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Anger, Cancer, Chronic Illness, Domestic Fluff, Family Fluff, Grandparent Yoda (Star Wars), Healing, Master & Padawan Relationship(s), Mentioned Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi Gets a Hug, Parental Plo Koon, Protective Anakin Skywalker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:20:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26208589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theIronStark3000/pseuds/theIronStark3000
Summary: Sometimes, Obi-Wan is angry when his body doesn’t work the way it used to.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker
Series: Obi-Wan Kenobi Has Cancer [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1890157
Comments: 4
Kudos: 103





	Of Tea and Tears

Ten months into in treatment. It had stolen nearly a year of his life. Obi-Wan felt fragile as if his bones were made of glass. He knew the marrow space in his bones were full of cancer. Another apology on the oncologist‘s lips as he went through another hellish round of chemo.

The intense chemo drugs had staved off disease progression. Obi-Wan’s cancer was responding to the treatment. And if all continued to go as it had, Kenobi would have a bone marrow transplant. The life salvaging treatment destroyed his body and like a thief in the night took his strength. Chemo killed everything, both good cells and bad ones. 

  
He always came back from treatment feeling awful, flu like symptoms. Typically, Kenobi rebounded within forty eight hours. The mouth sores ached, the nausea raged. He slept on the refresher floor. Obi-Wan didn’t have the strength to move beyond the living room couch. Eventually, the worst of the side affects passed. However after ten months of treatment,there were long term consequences. Obi-Wan had profound hearing loss in his left ear, and began feeling shooting pain in his limbs.   
  
  
His hands shook now, never quite steady enough to make tea or braid Anakin’s hair. Kenobi worried he’d never have the strength to hold a light saber again. Some master he’ll be to Anakin if they survive this. It began of numbness, tingling and pain in his fingers and toes. It progressed into weakness, muscle cramps, and muscle fatigue. They diagnosed him with neuropathy, the chemo had affected the small nerves in his hands and feet.

The oncologist predicted he’d be in a wheelchair within six months. She did not know how permanent, and if/when he would recover. Obi-Wan walked with a cane now He fought the idea of a hover chair with what little strength he had left. What kind of Master would he be if his hands don't work? In typical Kenobi fashion, he desperately tries to stubborn his way through this.  
  


* * *

Obi-Wan had been feeling better, a good sign after a rough round of treatment. His mood had even been good, but it would quickly falter. Mood swings were not uncommon at this stage in his treatment.Kenobi tried to make toast for his Padawan. He successfully plated the toast, and sat the kettle on the stove. The Knight prepared water for his tea and warmed a cup of milk to make hot coco with sprinkles for Anakin.   
  


He was so proud of himself for preparing breakfast, taking the fatigued steps between the kitchen counter and the table. His feet felt like they were pins and needles.Kenobi sighed, leaning on his cane. Anakin tried to help but his Master shoed him away. When he make his second trip from the kitchen table and counter, his hands began to spasm. It only took twelve steps to make him tired. 

The knight found he didn’t have the hand strength to curl his fingers around the kettle’s handle and pour himself a cup of tea.Stubbornly, Obi-Wan tried anyway, he held the kettle with both shaking hands. He missed the cup, and let out a quiet shout of frustration. Anakin tried to offer help again, but his Master quickly shot him down.   
  


Something in Obi-Wan snapped as a tsunami of emotions flooded him frail form all at once. He threw the tea cup at the wall, and it shattered with a crack. Kenobi felt his knees buckle as he fell into the floor. He sobbed loudly, hiccuping. Obi-Wan broke Qui-Gon’s favorite tea cup.   
  


“Obi-Wan!.”, the boy yelped.

  
Anakin panicked, finding he didn’t have the strength to help his Master off the floor. There wasn’t much he could do. He had tired to help, but his Master refused!  
  


“I-I broke Qui’s tea cup.”, Obi-Wan sobbed, his lip wobbled.   
  


“Oh, Master. I don’t think he’ll be upset with you.”   
  


Anakin was afraid to touch him, especially knowing his sensitive nerve endings made touch uncomfortable. He could feel how upset Obi-Wan felt through their training bond. The ten year old promised to be back and ran out of the apartment. The ten year old ran down the halls of the Temple. He knew Master Plo and Master Yoda had tea together most mornings in the refectory. Many councilors sat together for breakfast.

He panted out of breath, “I-need help. It’s Obi-Wan.”

”What is wrong, Initiate Skywalker?”, Master Koon asks gently.   
  


“He fell. I can’t get him up on his own.”, Anakin’s lip wobbled. He hated asking another adult for help. He was afraid Obi-Wan would be upset with him.

”Help we will.”, Master Yoda takes Anakin’s hand.   
  


“What happened, Anakin?”, Koon asked.   
  


“His hands don’t work the way they used to. Obi-Wan couldn’t pour the kettle without making a mess . He got angry, I tried to help. He threw the teacup.”  
  


“Hurt was anyone?”, Yoda hummed with concerned.   
  


“I don’t think so.”, Anakin sighed.   
  
  


“Has he ever lashed out in anger before?”, Koon inquired, knowing this was uncharacteristic of Kenobi.   
  


“ _Never._ He wasn’t mad at me. It was like he was mad at himself.”

“Wise you were to come to us, Skywalker.”, Yoda affirmed, offering reassurance and support as he feels the boy’s anxiety projected.   
  


They were quiet upon entering the Kenobi-Skywalker quarters. Obi-Wan’s sobs had subsided as he hiccuped quietly. He didn’t have the strength to pick himself up off the floor. He curled up in a ball on the floor, his cane just slightly out of reach. Even if he could reach it, there was no way he'd be able to get up on his own.

  
Plo tended to Kenobi while Yoda cleaned up the shattered tea cup. Anakin tapped the Grand Master on the shoulder. 

“Master Yoda. He was upset about breaking the cup. Is there someway we can fix it?”, Anakin whispered.   
  
  


“Sure we can, young one.”

Master Yoda collects the broken pieces. While they make a journey to the Grand master's quarters, Plo and Obi-Wan had a much needed talk.

”Obi, can you look at me?”, Plo knelt beside him, wiping away tears with his thumb.   
  


“We don’t need _your_ help.”, Obi-Wan sniffled.   
  


“It’s okay to ask for help.”, Koon reminded him as he fixed Obi-Wan a cup of tea.

"Let's get you on your feet.", Plo coaxed, standing himself. He picked up the cane and put it in Kenboi's hand, gently supporting him as the Knight settles on shaky limbs. The knight takes a handful of wobbly steps to the kitchen table and takes a seat. 

  
Plo sits a plate of biscuits in front of Obi-Wan and passes him a cup of tea. 

"Is Anakin okay?", Kenobi conceded, accepting the tea.

"He's very worried about you.“  
  


“He always is.”

”The more important question is, Are you okay?”

”I don’t need your help. I certainly don’t need my Padawan’s help”

”You know, Obi, he doesn't often seek out other adults for help.", Koon mused. 

My Padawan and I are _fine_.”, Obi-Wan huffed.  
  
  


“You’re afraid, aren’t you?”, Plo observes.

“What if I never regain my strength again?”, Obi-Wan whispered.

”You’ll always be his _Master_ , and we will help in the places you can’t.”

”Will it be _enough_?“

“ _You_ are enough.”

”My body doesn’t work anymore.”

”Let us help you.”

Obi-Wan weeps silently, and Plo holds his hand. He releases his emotions into the Force as Master Koon guides him through a breath prayer. He is calmer, still shaken and upset, but steadier by the time Yoda and Anakin return.

The four of them set at the table, watching Yoda carefully lay the broken tea cup in front of him. The grand master had gone back to his quarters for a teacup of his own.   
  


“Mend your broken tea cup, we will.”, Master Yoda said.   
  
  


“It won’t be the same.”, Anakin frowned. 

  
“Ancient practice of kintsugi have you ever heard of?”, Yoda asks.  
  
  


“No.”, Anakin and Obi-Wan said in unison.

”Our brokenness is not a flaw, or an imperfect. It’s part of who we are. This teacup is not broke, and neither are you.”, Plo offers, sharing a smile with Yoda.   
  


“I-I won’t forget I _broke_ Qui’s favorite tea cup.”, Obi-Wan’s lip wobbled.   
  
  


“Adds to its overall worth the mended brokenness does.”, Yoda hummed, sharing a tea cup from his own collection that was mended with the gold liquor.   
  


“There is a lesson you want me to hear, right Masters?”, Obi-Wan sighed.  
  


  
“Never stop learning we do, Knight Kenobi.A lesson you and your Padawan both can learn from.”, Yoda mused.

”I-I’m _broken_ , Master. And you can’t put me back together again.”, Obi-Wan said quietly hanging his head. 

  
  
“Abandon you we will not.”, Yoda hummed. 

Master Yoda reaches across the table to take his hand. He presses a gentle kiss against Kenobi’s bald head. He is afraid of letting go him as if Obi-Wan will disintegrate.   
  


“Master?”, Anakin looked at Obi-Wan.

”Yes, Padawan?”

”I don’t want another Master. I want _you.”_

_”_ Oh Ani,I may never hold a saber in my hand again. Certainly you’d benefit from having another teacher.”

”I don’t care. You’re my _Master_ , Obi-Wan.”, the boy’s jaw was firm. He crossed his arms, such a serious look on the ten year old.   
  


Obi-Wan resisted laughing at him, though it made him smile. The boy tried to emulate his master and Obi-Wan’s no none-sense attitude.

“Alright, dear heart, I will be your Master until the day I die.”

“You’re stuck with me for a long time, Obi-Wan.”

"Pinky promise?", Obi-Wan asked shly, extending his pinky.

Anakin happily accepted, "Pinky promise."

  
"I was not aware Jedi made pinky promises.", Plo chuckled. 

"They're the most sacred of promises, Master Plo.", Anakin said in a matter of fact tone. 

Across their friendship bond, Master Plo sent a nod of affirmation and affectation to the Knight, _"You're doing well with him. Stop doubting yourself."_

  
Obi-Wan still felt broken, the loss of Qui-Gon left a gaping hole in his chest. There is an emptiness no one can heal. He doesn’t know how to mend it into something else, something beautiful. It feels raw and angry. Every time he sits through another round of treatment, Obi-Wan longs for his master at his side. The way cancer and grief stole parts of him away make him feel a tidal wave of emotions. Sitting at the table with a warm cup of tea between his hands, and the people he loves the most giving him affection, he slowly feels the edges of his brokenness weave back together again. 


End file.
